Missing my Nephew

Dear Rose:
 
I hate my brothers girlfriend. She is a snake in the grass. [private]She has manipulated, and provoked many family disputes. My brother had custody of their two-year-old son, and during a visitation she fled with my nephew. My brother got out of the truck to pay for her gas and she peeled out of the parking lot leaving him in the dust. When my nephew was returned to my brother his legs were covered with little dime size bruises. She made up every excuse under the sun for the cause of the bruises, but I know in my heart that she was the cause. This is only one example of the damage this woman has caused. Now my brother and her are back together. He has forgiven her for all the things she has done, but I can’t seem forget nor forgive her actions. I have so much animosity towards her that it took me a little over a year to be able to be in a one mile radius of her. To this day I cringe in her presence. Here is the dilemma. I love my nephew and he loves to come and spend weekends at my house, but if I want to see my nephew I have to play nice with his mom. I would never talk about or talk bad to his mom in front of him, she is his mom and I know he loves her, but how do I get past my anger? Were, when and how does forgiveness start? I want a relationship with my nephew. Please help.
Sincerely, Missing My Nephew
 
Dear Missing My Nephew,
Forgiveness starts within you. If you can’t actually feel forgiveness, at least start to think about your brothers girlfriend as if you can. If you act kindly forgiveness will follow, especially if she can regain your trust. I’m not saying to forget the past, just put it where it belongs, in the past. Keeping your nephew as your primary goal and reason for acting this way toward his mother may make it a little easier.  If indeed she is the cause of his bruises, then he needs a confident, clearheaded adult in his life. He’ll need a relationship with a close relative whom he can trust in case he mother is mistreating him. Your brother may need the same kind of support in his life since he has chosen to forgive and move forward with this women.
My advice; be nice but watchful. You don’t need to live with this women or be best friends, just be nice to her when you do see her and enjoy your nephew.
~Rose [/private]

Dear Rose is Boyne City’s local advice column.  Rose  is a resident of Boyne City, and can be seen living and working in our town.  Due to the nature of this column, the identity of its writer is kept anonymous, however, any questions to be answered may be sent to message-inabottle.rose@gmail.com

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